When will it end?

I'm not a fan of 5ish. Maybe it's different for boys and girls, but I don't think I like this 4 going on 5 deal. I'd like to know the name and address of the behavior fairy that came in the middle of the night 50 million years ago ( it does seem like it's been that long ) and sprinkled my kid with "I'm-not-going-to-listen-to-anything-you-say" dust. Then I'd like to know why this fairy decided to throw in a handful of "I-want-what-I-want-and-if-you-don't-give-it-to-me-I'll-throw-a-fit" dust. I may kill that little fairy.

I'm only human. So when you see those super moms on TV who just shrug their shoulders and say "Kids will be kids", I want to let you know that it's a lie. I don't think there is a mom like that--there never was, and there never will be. Not a mom that cares about her kids anyway. I do know that there are those moms who have the same behavioral issues with their child and STILL act as though their child can do no wrong.

Funny enough, it's the dads who really think their children can do no wrong. It would be quite lovely to have the opportunity to tell these dads, and I know a few of them, that their children are just as infuriating as everyone else's. I would also like to mention that they would know this if they spent more than a few hours on the weekends with them.

Ahhhh almost 5, what a time. I may write a book. Or just start drinking.

A year? Seriously?

I just remembered the other day that I have this thing. I'm not sure what I thought I would write about but now I know...I haven't touched this thing in a year. Wow!

Anyway, cupcakes. I have to make 18 cupcakes for my daughter's school birthday party. I had it in my head that I would breeze in and be all Martha Stewart like with some Coconut Cupcakes...her recipe of course...but now that I'm getting started with it, I'm feeling a little less than Martha. Apparently I'll need cake flour which annoys me because I am definitely going to have to go to the store and I don't want to.

Wouldn't it be lovely if when you wanted to make something in the kitchen you could just close your eyes, do a little dance, say what you want and POOF, there it is?

So yes, Coconut Cupcakes. I have three and a half weeks. Wish me luck.

Does it really matter?

I'm in a mom's group and there's a post going about the Baby Einsteins DVD's...the refund and all that. Some of the moms are kind of defending letting their kids watching TV and one in particular admits to about 3 hours of TV for her children per day. I don't agree with sitting your child in front of a TV for that long each day at all. What are you doing during that time? I wish I had three hours a day to do whatever. That's not my point right now though. Why do I care? And why does she feel the need to defend it? They're not my kids so while I care about them as a whole, I don't care if they're the smartest or have the best childhood. I only care about my kid. Does that make me selfish, or heartless? I'm not sure, but I don't think so. I have some very close friends and I think the world of their children. But I don't care how their moms are raising them because it doesn't affect me. I don't think any of them are in any danger otherwise I would say something. I guess what I'm trying to say is that the outcome of my child, down to the tiniest detail, is my only concern. Why can't other moms think the same way? Why are we always judging each other and looking down our noses? Who cares if you're the crafty mom, or the thin mom, or the mom with the hot husband? Who care if you have the biggest house or your kids are in prep school? I certainly don't. All I care about is how you treat me and my family and if you're good to your kids.

Aahhhhh Saturday in Autumn

I love fall. I mean I really love this time of year. Sometimes I think it's unhealthy how much I love it. It's cold but not too cold, at least not for me and it's bright and crisp. It feels clean outside to me. Most people say they get that feeling in springtime but I just feel muddy. Really though, that's what it does in spring, it rains and gets muddy. Or if you live in New England, it rains in the summer too.

So far today my husband and daughter made eggs, hashbrowns, sausage, and chocolate chip pancakes and we ate until we couldn't move. Then the two of them went out and cut our six pumpkins off the vine. They aren't big enough yet but since it snowed yesterday, they're done whether they like it or not. They also cut down all the sunflowers we had so the seeds can dry. Good for them, I stayed inside and took a long hot shower! We're off for the day, no doubt to go apple picking. If I don't get any apple cider donuts today I may pop!

I have no idea what the song is, or who sings it, but do you know that song "Nobody's gonna break my stride, nobody's gonna slow me down, oh no, I've got to keep on movin'"? I'm not sure if that's the way it goes but that's how I'm hearing it. It's in my head right now and that's my theme song for the day. It's sooo pretty outside and I can't wait to get out there.

This is the kind of day that you should spend outdoors with the kids running around, getting along and listening of course, and drinking hot apple cider with friends. Apple crisp would be good too. Ok we're off, I think I'll add to this later.

First day...let's see what happens

I've never done anything like this before. More often than not, people don't want to hear what I'm really thinking because you're not supposed to say that stuff out loud. It's really too bad, even if you don't agree, at least I can provide some food for thought. Maybe if I'm not saying it out loud, the fall out won't be so bad.

So why am I doing this? I dunno really. I guess I just want to say what I feel and get it out there. Perhaps I'll be congratulated. I'm sure I'll be ridiculed. Oh well, whachyagonnado right? I have no idea where I'm going to go with this or even how long I'll write. For now, I'm here and I'm just going to say what's on my mind.

Hmmm...what is on my mind? Husbands who have to work late for starters. Mine has been unemployed 8ish times in 4 years and finally at the beginning of this year got a full time job. He's still there, thank God (or whoever you choose to thank). Lately though this is a bittersweet arrangement. He has to take a bus to work at 7:15 and doesn't come home until 6:30. That's on a good day. My daughter has had a hard time adjusting to her daddy not being home very much and you know who's had to deal with that. Last week he worked 4 nights from home until about midnight, one night he stayed late and came home at 8:30. This week he stayed until 9ish and came home about 10:30 and two nights he had to work from home late--one of those nights he was up all night. I haven't talked to my husband in about three days so of course nothing beyond that is going on either. He's a total bear because he's not sleeping and my daughter is acting up because she's seeing her daddy even less.

Don't get me wrong, I'm very glad we have a job--especially after all the crap we went through being unemployed. But dammit, this is enough. I have no idea what the story will be tonight but I'm really hoping that he's done working like this for a while. I could use a night with my husband and I know my daughter would love some more attention.